WITH PERMISSION FROM JR,
PAGES FEATURING THE COLLECTITORIAL RHYMEICAL
POSTAGES FROM THE FAMOUSLY TALENTABLY SANDTURDIAL
CLAMPERATIVE BRUTHURS, RIGHT OUT OF IRJR'S FAMOUS:
"SANDBOX" POSTING BOARD.
CREDO QUIA ABSURDUM
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THERE LIES IN THE SANDBOX I'VE HEARD,
GREAT LIMERICKS FROM MANY A TURD.
THEY DON'T ALL MAKE SENSE,
BUT IN THEIR DEFENSE,
IT'S ALL ABOUT BEING ABSURD.
CLOD D. STUNTCLAMPER
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KC .........Words to live by
Sometimes you are sad....and no one sees your tears....
Sometimes you are happy....and no one sees your smile....
But the times you fart....trust me...people smell that shit!
STEVE 58
25
There was an old clamper in 'Bama,
Ain't allowed to use his old hamma.
Treats co-eds just fine,
Fills em with wine,
Then slides in his little banana.
SILENT SANDY
24
A Clamper from San Jose named Ken,
Wrote Limericks with a frivolous pen.
When the Sandbox was bare,
He defecated there........
Turds of wisdom - again and again.
DISCO DANNY
23
There once was a redhead from Waterford,
He got off by teasing those on JR's board.
JR said he cant wright any more shit,
And he even got Janet Reno looking into it,
But what's worse is the redhead has a beta copy of Carnivour.
CHAMPAIGN
22
There once was a man who sang " I don't care",
He posed as a teacher with a dramatic flair.
They told him stop singing or get !
But he told them he wouldnt ever quit.
Now he's in a mental hospital somewhere.
CHAMPAIGN
21
A man once had vanity plates,
But it caused traffic jams and delays.
After warning him numerous times,
The cops starting giving him fines,
Now the man travels on skates.
CHAMPAIGN
20
An aspiring poet of no name,
Posts verse on Sandbox to gain fame.
So the Clamper Slop Bucket,
Gave the Man from Nantucket,
A sip of stale Champaign.
DISCO DANNY
19
Roses are red, pickles are green,
I love your legs and what's in between.
I love your style I love your class,
But most of all I love your ass.
SUBMITTED BY VITUS
18
Vitus likes ass and pickles so green,
Al wants a pussy that feels like a queen.
They both keep on hoping for tightness and ass,
While they're all tight for me,
If I don't smell Champaigns gas.....
Steve likes his beaver,
What looks like it wuz.
Hit by a cleaver,
Beau wants the rear,
A greek guy I fear.
But I want em hairy,
Not shaved like a fairy.
But we all have some class,
Except for Champaigns gas.
On this I would linger,
But here comes that fuckin finger....
SILENT SANDY
17
JR's page had lovely gimmericks,
But he couldn't write any lowly limericks .
The ladies for him would swoon,
A good thing for such a hound of poon,
Although his lust wuz generic.
SILENT SANDY
16
There was a young fellow from Leeds,
Who swallowed a package of seeds.
Great tufts of grass,
Sprouted out of his ass,
And his balls were all covered with weeds.
A girl named Alice, in Dallas,
Had never felt of a phallus.
She remained virgo intacto,
Because, ipso facto,
No phallus in Dallas fit Alice.
There was a young girl named Anheuser,
Who said no man could surprise her.
But Pabst took a chance,
Found Schlitz in her pants,
And now she is sadder Budweiser.
SUBMITTED BY DeFrocProc
15
The odes we thought due to a fox,
but the words weren't old Proc's.
no original thought,
He scammed us the werds,
thinking redshirts like nerds,
now we know why he defrocked.
SILENT SANDY
14
THE FARTER FROM SPARTA
There was a young fellow from Sparta,
A really magnificent farter,
On the strength of one bean,
He’d fart God Save the Queen,
And Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.
He could vary, with proper persuasion,
His fart to suit any occasion.
He could fart like a flute,
Like a lark, like a lute,
This highly fartistic Caucasion.
He was great in the Christmas Cantata,
He could double-stop fart the Toccata,
He’d boom from his ass,
Bach’s B-Minor Mass,
And in counterpoint, La Traviata.
SUBMITTED BY DEFROCPROC
13
A Stanford Alumnus DeFroc,
Quoted Greek and Latin ad hoc.
But then in E Clampus Vitus,
He began to recite us,
Verse that was a lot of croc.
DISCO DANNY
12
There once was a man whose feet had blistered.
Then his wife left him and he missed her.
Now he soaks his feet all day,
Some say he has even gone gay,
Cause he cant remember his wife or the last time he kissed her !
CHAMPAIGN
11
There once was a pirate named Gates,
Who liked to go dancing on skates.
Till he fell on his cutlass,
Which rendered him nutless,
Now he's really quite useless on dates.
SUBMITTED BY TWO BIT
10
There once was a clamper named Beau,
Who tried shitting for weeks but couldn't go.
They tried using a crow bar to pry his buttcheeks open,
Only thing left was praying and hoping,
Till Ron Cox stuffed him full of Dynamite and yelled "Let er Blow!"
CHAMPAIGN
9
Champaign as a Clamper wuz flush,
His diet consisted of brewskies and mush.
Though his regimen was true,
He couldn't make doo,
Till he heard old beau give a great flush...
SILENT SANDY
8
There once was a Chapter, Thirteen,
Outlaws, if you know what I mean;
PBC's they did say,
Dropped their pants one day,
It was quite a site to be seen.
Grand Council, they seemed to believe,
If an ass were seen, they were peeved;
Yet long ago the Miners,
Were not these PC whiners,
And were not afraid for their staffs to be relieved.
PEE WEE
7
A nattering nabob Sid,
Was never one to kid.
Whether plumber or doctor,
If you wanna be proctor,
You have to do his bid.
DISCO DANNY
6
I hear Grand Council is waxing forth,
About a Clamper chapter up North.
Seems a photo of the dick,
Of Old Jolly Saint Nick,
Found its way to the Proctors of course.
DISCO DANNY
5
A gourmet of legend wuz Sandy,
He wanted his meals to be dandy.
He cooked up some beast,
With fixins and treats,
And all there said it a feast el grande........
SILENT SANDY
4
Danny done rode his old bike,
Looking for a bar fulla dyke.
He found one was willin,
Though her demeanor was chillin,
Cause Danny's little thingie she liked.
SILENT SANDY
3
There was an old humbug from Nantuckett,
His finger, the widders couldn't duck it.
It could open his fly,
And tickle a thigh,
And rose when the lady did suck it.....
SILENT SANDY
2
A clamper of note was steve,
Not one to have any peeve.
He mixed up the drinks,
No problem, methinks,
But with a motive up his sleeve....
SILENT SANDY
1
There once a lady from China,
She had a great big ole Va_ _ _ _
She'd carry water out of the rice fields in buckets,
But these days she just sits and sucks it,
Now you know where we got "Sump Pump" ,kinda.
CHAMPAIGN
.99
There once was a girl from Norway,
Who hung by her heels from the doorway.
She shoulted with glee,
Hey boys, look at me,
I think I have disovered one more way.
DISCO DANNY
.98
There once was a Redshirt named 2bit,
He ran his truck till it did quit.
Being in a real pinch,
He needed something 9 inch,
But his 1 inch will probably fit.
CHAMPAIGN
.97
There once was a clamper named KC,
That held out his finger for pull play.
He'd say with a grin,
Pull my finger my friend,
Then gas everyone in his way.
VITUS
.96
There once was clamper named Beau,
Whose hobby it was to eat ho's.
He stepped in a bucket,
Found rhymes for nantucket,
And bragged it's Champain he blows.
AL THE FIRST
.95
Beau knew a clamper named Al,
Who thought that he was the first.
Eve said no way,
In the garden his lay,
Was certainly one of the worst.
Or
Al was the first in Nantucket,
And a cherry he certainly did pluck it.
When they were done, she said listen old son,
Your dingus is so small, smaller than all,
I felt like an old fur-lined bucket.....
SILENT SANDY
.94
A hermaphrodite, Sandy the Silent,
Committed a poetic violence.
The offence was a crime,
To one so sublime,
But Al decided to file it.
AL THE FIRST
.93
Some Clampers finally saw the light,
They'd come to just BS and not to fight!
But the Widder's never could see,
What gave these old boy's such glee.
And they can't join anyway,try as they might!
CHAMPAIGN
.92
About that Redshirt Champagne,
(whose finger-pulling trick is a pain).
We've all seen those Pokemon toys,
(and Ken wants to be one of the boys),
but to find him a name was not easily done.
DOC
.91
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As we move on with ECV,
And hope for survivors to be.
Pray and dedicate each doins,
For the victims lost in the ruins,
And toast to the land of the FREE!
KEYHOLE
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THANKS JR, AND BROTHER SANDTURDS, FER LETTIN ME GATHER UP ALL THESE POEMS AND LIMERICKS FROM THE SANDBOXES HYSTERICAL, HISTORICAL PAST AND PRESENT POSTAGES.
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Email:
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