A shit stirrer I been fer many long years,
driving dumb assholes deep into their beers.
Riots I have started,
with my verbiage well farted,
but KC done stole all my cheers.
SILENT SANDY
172
Well being a Clamper, and not a hick,
I'm aware all shit stirrin is done with a stick.
I hunted, I dug, and I searched,
I finally pulled it from where it had been pearched.
Now it can easily be used when I feel like being a prick!
KC
171
Music , video it plays them just fine,
It's there, it's free, now how can I whine.
It aint all that fancy,
To some maybe chancy,
But to learn how to use it don't take no Einstein.
Keyhole
170
There once was man giving thanks,
he cared little for money nor banks!
It was his comrades who gave him his wealth.
To him no friends were stealth!
Besides without them, he couldnt pull any pranks!
KC
169
I think some saw me as a pest,
As I surely put somes patience to the test.
But if you've known me a while,
Everything was typed with a smile.
And if you dont, I can say "FUCK YOU" like the rest !
KC
168
Here's to the assholes who emailed the Sarge,
Volcano dot net delivered them by barge.
Since Ione has no river,
Pony Express was the giver,
Hand delivered by a rider named Marge.
DISCO DANNY
167
I tried to send an email to Sarge,
Not by horseback or even by barge.
what words of wit I sent him,
were salty enuff to be considered sin
and almost humorous - by and large.
SILENT SANDY
166
Keyhole was hoping for verse,
and Dickhead for letters perverse.
Lim'ricks were slow in forthcoming,
so into the sandbox he wuz chumming,
after this poem it will surely get worse.....
Silent Sandy
165
Thought it was never really intended,
The Sandbox was temporarily suspended.
As a brother explained it to me,
The reason, just a rumor, you see,
Houdek's credit card was over-extended.
Disco Danny
164
Be warned there's a habit I've heard,
It's reported to get real absurd.
We're reminded by Gene,
And it's all so obscene,
That addiction to droppin a turd.
Keyhole
163
Obedience Lost
What a sad trend,
some children won't mind.
Many rules they will bend,
their punishment too kind.
The word "No" is forgotten,
their demands always met.
They become spoiled rotten,
and their future is set.
Arrested and jailed,
while still in their teens.
It's a wonder who failed,
and what this all means.
Children need guidance,
and discipline firm.
Or else its defiance,
and never will they learn.
KEYHOLE
162
To the golden hills, my friend I never met,
another brother to meet not quite yet.
You had charm, you had wit,
and a comment or two of Perls tit.
Your charm and wit I did so respect,
I'll meet you at last one day, now that's a bet!
SILENT SANDY
161
Sorry Ol' Boz I done missed ya down here.
A new time will come I aint got no fear.
Hope yer thar at the gate,
On MY arrival date,
So's then we can share some Cold Golden Beer.
KEYHOLE
160
Plaque above the cat box :
Here lies the remains of the famous Dickhead,
He asked to be buried but got torched instead.
Now it's downright absurd,
How he sticks to a turd,
Each time kitty squats in the litter box bed .
KEYHOLE
159
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust,
so does end an era of lust.
Dickhead's corpse is in the fire,
of his romancing no longer will they tire.
No body to bury, no bottle to drain,
The ladies are free from him pulling a train.
SILENT SANDY
158
Life without Clampin can sure be the shits,
If I don't get out I'll be throwin some fits.
Aint got much dough,
But I just gotta go,
There just aint no way I'd miss the dang Pitts!
KEYHOLE
157
On this day yer body popped out.
Smelly and slimy just like a trout,
They smacked yer pink ass,
You fought like a bass,
No wonder it's fishin yer life's all about,
KEYHOLE
156
I'm awake, I'm awake oh Silent One!
Rising from my slumber to enjoy the fun.
Am I really gettting out of bed,
Just to dis old Dickhead?
Oh horrors of humbuggery; widows yet unwon.
DISCO DANNY
155
I ain't heered no limericks for a while,
And even enjoy Steve's oh so vile.
It's just not much fun,
To be here without a pun,,
Or Dickhead's pendamic style.....
SILENT SANDY
154
Sandy's metacarpal syndrom must be doing fine,
'Cause he penning out those old familiar lines.
We thank you silent one for the brief respite,
From your prose and verse, so erudite,
Now we'll again suffer from your zany pen,
And hope the ailment doesn't recur again.
DISCO DANNY
153
Disco worried about my arm?
More likely hoped it'd bought the farm.
No respite from my humor he gets,
And it'll drive him nuts we bets.
Oh Danny these words are like a charm!
SILENT SANDY
152
It's werkin just fine no mirrors no smoke,
All three makin money and that aint no joke.
Should we leave it alone?
And not bitch and moan?
Should we try to fix it, if the dang thang aint broke?
KEYHOLE
151
Old fortune teller read your cards for us fast,
Bring us good fortune as you've done in the past.
The Futureman will whine,
But Our history must shine,
May your magical home indeed ever last.
Keyhole
150
If you're leavin yer doins this Saturday night,
Look out to the hills in the western twilite.
You may see the glow,
And then you will know,
The bonfire has started at the PW site.
Keyhole
149
To honorable members of ECV,
Let's all Remember Ol' Ephraim Bee.
He founded our club,
So send in yer rub,
For a plaque where he rests for all to see.
Keyhole
148
These virus thangs make our puter's squirm,
Infections and shit from a hackers germ.
And now thars a threat,
Of the worst one yet,
Click on the link to see bout this worm.
KEYHOLE
147
'Twas the fifth of May and all thru the sand,
Few turds a-stirrin the board kind of bland,
Then Dickhead comes in,
Askin "Whar y'all been"?
JR then explains it now we all understand.
Keyhole
146
Woe, alack, and alas!
I'm held together by intestinal gas!
Each time that I fart,
Something falls apart.
See! There's a crack in my ass!
STEVE 58
145
Steve thought he wuz falling apart,
When dickhead's continuim rift gave him a start.
It wasn't his gas that causedthe hurt,
Or even bad company of many a red shirt,
Just a clamper food-generated lowly old fart.
Silent Sandy
144
A fine couple bonds and ends their long search,
For that spiritual joining they're one by the church.
As Husband and Wife,
They begin their new life,
We wish all the best for young Sheila and Lurch.
Keyhole
143
We all have the choice Big Bang or a God,
We all have a voice reject or applaud,
We're born to be free,
Not forced to be thee,
We all should rejoice we aint kin to Clod.
Keyhole
142
Many Gods in the USA,
each worshipped in a different way.
The soul of our land,
Aided by diety quiet or grand,
made glorious by each way that we pray.
Bright blessings, my brothers.
Silent Sandy
141
In times of war and not before,
God and Soldier men adore.
But, in times of peace with all things righted,
God is forgotten and the Soldier slighted!
God Bless America, Freedom and Liberty Bell,
And all those who have served this country well.
Steve 58
140
Kirk is my friend I'm not ashamed to say:
He had been "at the bottle" for a while.
Intoxication made him fit to play.
With someone whom (if sober) would seem vile...
Jane is a woman who's thoroughly at ease,
With acts the average man would rightly shun.
She'll turn a trick as quickly as a sneeze.
If he is bored - for money, or for fun.
It seems she cornered him while Jim was lit.
And flattered him, and said she liked to suck.
And Jim, right then, did not mind that a bit.
Well, that, for Jane, was most uncommon luck!
It was not Jim: it was the alcohol.
When soaked with it, why, even angels fall.
Steve 58
139
Registered or not there aint no way,
They'll be able to take'm all away.
Too many be hidden,
The search still forbidden,
Just don't wave the arms if ya want'em to stay.
Keyhole
138
Gene was visiting the Big Easy,
In his style noted as quite breezy.
The cat house was wired,
By agents who had tired,
Of visiting lawyers known to be sleezy.........
SILENT SANDY
137
He laid thar in waitin fer that skeeter's return,
Naked and sweaty he'd soon finally learn,
When ya wanna kill a skeeter,
Make sure it aint on yer peter,
And don't use a torch, OH MAN WHUT A BURN!
KEYHOLE
136
The word succinct the term may be precise,
But to the point and tersely all concise?
Was it short and clear?
Some content to jeer?
But of course OL' Sandy has paid the price.
Keyhole
135
The concept of anonymity,
appears to me extinct.
Rather than fame,
I would prefer a drink.
Tomes of history I preferred not to write,
But while responding to a brother's inquiry,
I suffer slings and arrow both left and right.
For ignoring unrequested bevity,
for adding biography to levity,
and failing to do so ever so succint.....
Silent Sandy
134
Keyhole's muttering Kazinksi,
or maybe he said Lewinsky.
He hoped for some head,
or an explosion of dread.
But only found a butt-insky.
SILENT SANDY
133
Well if ya didn't have to rhyme with lewinsky,
Or another tough name like kaczynski.
Then as you can see,
The limerick could be,
Less difficult but less genuineski.
But IF the rules WERE to rhyme with "insky",
And the judges awarded the winski.
To a less difficult rhyme,
Then It's kind of a crime,
And the losers might wanna HIRE ol' Kaczynski.
KEYHOLE
132
Miss Lewinsky now hangs with Hollywood stars,
And Kaczynski now serves his time behind bars.
But Ted is now pissed,
Cuz his chance was missed,
To send Bill a box of some loaded cigars.
Keyhole
131
It's important to find a woman who's cookin can't be beat,
It's important to find a woman that don't have big feet.
It's important to find a girl,
Who has knockers like perl,
It's important that these three women never ever meet.
NAW NAW NAW . . . .
It's important to find a girl who cooks real well,
It's important to find a girl without a bad smell.
It's important to find a girl,
Who don't make ya hurl,
It's important these three girls make yer pud really swell.
NAW NAW NAW . . . . .
It's important to find a dame who's cooking is so fine,
It's important to find a dame who don't always whine.
It's important to find a dame,
Who likes to play the head game,
It's important that these three dame's don't smell like fish brine?
KEYHOLE
130
Frazer wants widders so fine,
Three of them that never whine.
Giving good head,
Athletic in bed.
Coming at separate times.
-------
No smelly wimmen for keyhole,
Ready and willin from the get-go
He wants Dickheads Dame,
Only if they be tame,
And natural juices from their hole.
SILENT SANDY
129
Dickhead, a clamper with three,
Trying to balance this feet,
Knowing should they meet.
His moments of vicarious glee,
Would end as the country he did flee.
SILENT SANDY
128
There once wuz a Clamper named Gene,
Who said he wuz a Dickhead and mean.
He would thrust it into her slit,
And said "Scream you ole Bitch"!
So she baaaa'ed "wiggle yer ears and spit".
STEVE 58
127
The taliban only knew sheep,
For little more than sex cheap.
But Dunker was no fool,
Said "also good meat and wool,
But into their pens at night he would creep.....
SILENT SANDY
126
More Gold In Them Thar Hills
Through the valleys and peaks,
of this glistening land,
lined with rich golden ore.
With outstretched arms,
Brothers gather at the gate,
of the Golden Hills once more.
At the end of the light,
the hewgag sounds,
a Brother appears with a grin.
Led on through the gate,
and into the hills,
his soul is welcomed within.
They talk of old times,
and can't help but smile,
of the past, the life, the thrills.
The bond remains strong,
as they lead him along,
through the Gold in them thar Hills.
Keyhole
125
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