The big words brother Disco does pour on,
Excellent verbiage and so on.
With oratory razzled,
And eloquence dazzled,
But a smart clamper is an oxymoron.
SILENT SANDY
61
Clamper Laureate Keyhole has spoken,
Of a book of ECV poetry? He's not jokin!
So put gold dust in your paws,
Brothers, it's for a worthy cause.....
To keep this great website unbroken.
DISCO DANNY
60
Keyhole's collection of verse,
Coulda been much worse.
The verbiage there,
Is much less than fair,
But makes for unquenchable thirst.
DISCO DANNY
59
We all must take what life instills,
The best in health the worst of ill's.
With right and wrong,
We live so long,
Then final peace; the Golden Hills.
KEYHOLE
58
Oh Slobba Bin Laden, by yer looks we can tell,
Yer lackin good hygiene, and you probably smell.
But soon it's fer certain,
You'll get yer last curtain,
And you'll love the hot showers they hand out in HELL.
KEYHOLE
57
Oh osama bin laden,
You son of a bitch.
May your balls develop,
A 7 year itch.
May your pecker be twisted,
In such a manner.
That your asshole whistles,
The star spangled banner.
God Bless America
SUBMITTED BY SGT. YOGI
56
There once was man from Afganistan,
Killing all Americans was his only plan.
His Islam Religion is practiced from his cave,
He should have known better than hit the home of the brave,
Now we have a reason to kill him and his clan.
CHAMPAIGN
55
Dickhead's email went to venus,
The natives there wanted to clean us.
Not cause we're crass,
Or hang out our ass,
But cause they saw his little penis......
SILENT SANDY
54
There was a short time when Sandy was gone,
And now he's a funnin bout Dickheads schlong.
We missed fer a while,
His limerickle style,
But we might have to give that last one the gong.
KEYHOLE
53
There once was an X Humbug named Champaign,
Oh he has said he has done just about everythang.
Now try as you may, or try as you might,
I'll tell you first, it aint worth the fight.
The damn fool bastard will still stick to his claim!
CHAMPAIGN
52
Champaign done all these things of course,
He tells us so with much force.
His history is full,
Of something like bull,
But actually from the end of a horse.
SILENT SANDY
51
There once was an alien frum outer space,
Who was scanning fer life all over the place.
It noticed some words,
From a bunch of Sandturds,
Then rolled it's big eyes with a smile on it's face.
KEYHOLE
50
Oh Slobba Bin Ladden that rag on yer head,
You may wanna use for a diaper instead.
Cuz when we come hit,
You surely WILL SHIT!
And we all know shit happens when yer suddenly dead.
KEYHOLE
49
No master with words was old Gene,
'Specially when he tried em clean.
Not a master of rhymes,
Even in best of times,
See, Dickhead was just a bad dream.....
SILENT SANDY
48
The Humbug of Holcomb's a coward!
"Not so!", replied our friend Howard.
"It's just that the sheep,
Always jump up and leap",
"It's safer to fuck in a cow herd!"
DICKHEAD
47
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REST WELL EPHRAIM
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Beneath the tall stone his soul ever blessed,
Though never alone he still couldn't rest.
Then a calling to kin,
From the legend within,
Brought brothers unknown from the past'n the West.
Come forth history down the trails so unclear,
Soon you will see lost brethren draw near.
We now gather round,
Let the Hewgag sound,
Here's to you Ephraim Bee! As we raise a cold beer!
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KEYHOLE
46
STRANGE AS IT MAY SEEM THIS POEM CAME OUT
IN THE SHAPE OF AN " E ". ( UNINTENTIONALLY )
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We're going to old West Virgin',
To get a E. Bee sheepskin.
Come along you can't lose,
There'll be lots of booze,
Whiskey, beer and some gin.
DICKHEAD
45
There once was a Proctor named Gene,
Who said that "Cruising's my scene".
He got on the boat,
Went out for a float,
And did several things --- all obscene!
HUMBUG HOWARD
44
I went fer a bit , to the sandbox two,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fer testin and shit, I done had to do.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It's desolate in there,
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Full of old stale air,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
But my posting's were startin to go askew.
KEYHOLE
43
Our venturesome kosher gourmand,
Went into Idaho and Utah astormin.
But when the schochtim got back,
He had leavened flour in his sack,
Methinks Da Mohel has turned Mormon.
DISCO DANNY
42
On a sheepskin for Dickhead's club,
Did Danny get his monicker dubbed.
Even though Gene is an anus,
Now on paper he's famous,
And Walker Lake gets all the rub......
SILENT SANDY
41
It's a hundred and nine over here!!!
The hottest damn day of the year!!!
All this talk about booze,
Has me droolin for brews,
So I'm off for some frosty cold beer!
KEYHOLE
40
Keyhole's in need of something so cold,
With flavor and results so known to be bold.
With his mug overflowing,
And his farts ever blowing,
May tales of his drinking ever be told....
SILENT SANDY
39
My left nut got clipped.
My right nut got clap.
Twas a dirty biaaaatch,
That I shoulda slapped!!!!!!
MOUNTAINEER
38
Roses are Reddish,
Violets are Bluish.
I'm stuck in Idaho,
Where NOBODY'S JEWISH!
HUMBUG HOWARD
37
There once was a census for brothers,
Some were counted more than others.
It wasn't real fun,
But when it was done,
The "guesstimate" was as good as another.
KEYHOLE
36
To the doins went old Clamper Gene,
With booze he filled all his organs but the spleen.
His widder went hiding,
Cause the toilet he wuz riding,
There his bowels emptied to clean.
SILENT SANDY
35
Each time I put on a red shirt,
My body and mind are alert.
But, after three days of boozing,
And smoking and schmoozing,
I come back all covered with dirt.
DICKHEAD
34
There once was a widder from Brest,
Who sucked on her Clamper with zest.
Despite his great howls,
She sucked out his bowels,
And spat them all over his chest.
DOORKEY
33
I done writ this poem,
It were'nt take no time.
Least ways I'd show'em,
I could conjure up rhyme.
CLOD D. STUNTCLAMPER
32
A sage old redshirt wuz danny,
His knowledge of words uncanny.
The ladies would swoon,
As he waxed in largesse of Camaroon,
And nibbled so soft on their fanny.
SILENT SANDY
31
A sagebrush philosopher named Sandy,
Whose aphorisms and saws are just dandy.
Created a spectacular scene,
About a pettifogger named Gene,
The descriptions of whom are too randy.
DISCO DANNY
30
A shyster from the Field of Baker,
Had a lover who was a good faker.
His take on the law,
Would stick in the craw,
So to bed he would take her.
SILENT SANDY
29
A redshirt from old Tonopah,
Met a brother schooled in the law.
They both started drinkin',
And soon they were stinkin',
It's the worse thing you ever saw.
DICKHEAD
28
There was an ugly lawyer from Kern,
kept his profits in a churn.
His mandamus wuz writ,
in ink on his tit,
and judges his papers did spurn.....
SILENT SANDY
27
A Tonopah Clamper named Sandy,
Thought visiting widders wuz dandy.
He had em for balls,
And picnics in fall,
And kept em out of his doins.
SILENT SANDY
26
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THANKS JR AND BROTHER SANDTURDS FER LETTIN ME GATHER
UP ALL THESE POEMS AND LIMERICKS FROM THE SANDBOX'S
HYSTERICALHISTORICAL PAST AND PRESENT POSTAGES.
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Email:
EVERYONE
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