TARGET PRACTICE ON BIN LADEN

Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish,” he asks,"will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" David's father thinks a bit, then says, "No,I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," David says. Why Osama Bin Laden," his father asks in shock. "Well," David says,"I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama,he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride. "David, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," David says, "and once that gets him outin the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of that motherf#cker!" Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel when they stopped at a small town. Bin Laden gets off the camel and lifts up its tail and looks at the camel's butt, just then a guy comes over and says, "What are you doing?" Osama replies, "About 2 miles back I heard someone say, 'Hey, look at the two assholes on that camel.'" George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a conversation via Al Jazeera television. Bin Laden tells George Bush, "There is no point of engaging in further war. I can see total peace in the future!" George Bush replies, "Oh yeah and tell me what you see?" Osama answers, "I can see New York, with new great buildings on one side and beautiful new buildings on the other side, and everything is peaceful and wonderful." George Bush says, "Wow is that what you see? Well I'll tell ya what I see for the future of Afghanistan... I see a house here, a house there, a small building here and small building there, but there are signs hanging in the middle of the street." Osama asks, "And what do they say?" George answers, "Hell, I don't know. I can't read Hebrew!" Why don't the members of Al Qaeda go out to bars? Because they can get bombed at home What do bin Laden and Fred Flintstone have in common? They both look out of their caves and see Rubble. What do you call Osama bin Laden buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand.

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